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Please note, we're not making this stuff up!!
Q. "All these damn notes we're writing to each other as if we're
talking as if the FBI is watching," said the Honorable William Jefferson, as he spoke to a FBI wired-up witness and was videotaped accepting bribes.
Q. They are not going to shoot us, it's not Iraq. We might
have to pay a fine or serve a little time in jail," said the Honorable Ted Stevens, caught here on a wiretap recording.
Q. "This Abramoff guy is a bad guy. I hope he goes to jail and we never see him again. I wish he'd never been born," said the Honorable Conrad Burns, who returned $150,000 in Abramoff-related donations.
Q. In a nine-page letter to supporters, the Honorable Tom DeLay said in February 2006: "A final word on Jack Abramoff: the notion that he was a close friend who wielded influence over me is absolutely untrue. . . The reality is, Jack Abramoff and I were not close personal friends. I met with him only occasionally, in fact less frequently than numerous others who brought issues before Congress--never did he receive preferential treatment. To be certain, I knew nothing about the crimes for which he has pled guilty."
Q. "Tom Delay is a scandal waiting to happen. He casts himself as the enemy of Washington, but he's really a conventional (if effective) pol who wants to use dollars to entrench power. He represents the greatest danger the Republicans face, bossism. He wants to be the G.O.P.'s Boss Tweed." Wrote conservative columnist David Brooks about the Honorable Tom DeLay.
Q. "Are you still messing with little boys?" The Honorable Gus Savage apparently liked to ask reporters who were hounding him.
Q. "It's not like molesting young girls and your boys," said the Honorable Charles Wilson of Texas about his writing 81 bad checks through the House Bank.
Q. "I don't do Democrats," said BadBoy Babe Paula Parkinson.
Q. "It's an absolute flat-out falsehood. I had nothing to do with her down there. I had nothing to do with her before. I had nothing to do with her afterwards," said the Honorable J. Danforth Quayle said of Paula Parkinson's allegations that they had been messin' around. (Check out what Mrs. Dan Quayle had to say about this!)
Q. "Look, I'm running for Speaker of the House. I'm not running for sainthood. I'm not looking to be canonized. I'm just a regular person," said the Honorable Bob Livingston right before he resigned.
Q. "I'm gonna tell you somethin' real simple and short. Money talks in business and bullshit walks. And it works the same way down in Washington." The Honorable Ozzie Myers on a FBI sting video.
Q. "I don't give a damn about Buz Lukens. . . I don't give a damn about Gus Savage . . . I don't give a damn about Jim Bates. . . . [But] if I was dying in the hospital, Barney Frank would come see me. The others would be filing for my office space." said an unnamed colleague of the Honorable Barney Frank during floor debate on his punishment.
Q. The congressman and I would "'talk about sex for hours and hours." That's because the Honorable John Young's secretary had no work to do.
Q. "In street terms, you screwed me," the Honorable James Traficant yelled at the judge. "And I didn't think you would do that to me."
Q. "Gingrich is like an arsonist who torches the building without supposing that the flames could consume his own bedroom," wrote the Honorable Jim Wright.
Q. "You're in the showers with them, you're in the bunk room with them, you're in the staterooms with them. You just hope no harm would come by folks who are of that persuasion. It's a discipline thing." The Honorable Ed Schrock on gays in the military.
Q. "I'm a dope, not a crook," said the Honorable Susan Molinari, owning up to her writing 6 bad checks to the House Bank in 1991.
Q. "The ultimate ethics committee are the people of Georgia," said the Honorable Herman Talmadge weeks before his re-election defeat.
Q. "I understand human weaknesses now better than ever," said the Honorable Bob Bauman after being busted on a morals charge.
Q. "I've got larceny in my heart," said the Honorable John Jenrette to an undercover FBI agent.
Q. "Gary swept me off my feet," said BadBoy Babe Donna Rice of the Honorable Gary Hart.
Q. "Washington is basically a very horny city. For one thing, there are more women here than men. And men can be jerks with women and get away with it, because men are so scarce around here," said the ever-quotable BadBoy Babe Paula Parkinson.
Q. One more time from Paula Parkinson: "If I'd slept with everybody who asked me, I never would have gotten out of bed."
Q. "Bill Janklow speeds when he drives. He shouldn't, but he does. And when he gets a ticket, he pays it. If someone told me I was going to jail for two days for speeding, my driving habits would change. I can pay the ticket but I don't want to go to jail." The Honorable Bill Janklow explaining away his speeding that killed a motorcyclist.
Q. "Tell him he's a liar. Tell him Sgt. Poppy said that." Response of the Honorable Wes Cooley's sergeant on Cooley's claims to have been fighting in the Korea War.
Q. "I'm not that stupid. I wasn't self-destructive, I wasn't crazy . . . . I took every bit of responsibility, but not for being reckless and stupid. I was the first candidate in this country to be put under surveillance." Quoth the Honorable Gary Hart.
Q. "You'd think a man who had acknowledged frequenting a homosexual theater would have been run out of Mississippi. But some folks would rather have a queer conservative than an macho liberal, and they may be right." Said a former close supporter of the Honorable Jon Hinson.